A ‘You’-Shaped Hole

How much of your life have you spent trying to figure out how to ‘fit’?

We begin in school, where we are presented with round holes to fit in and the teachers systematically knock our ‘rough corners’ off so that we fit into them.

Any expression of individuality is seen as ‘rebellion’.

This is what the system wants… predictable, manipulable drones… it’s much easier and safer to rule over a predictable population.

You see, those early experiences are just training us to grow up in the ‘system-approved way’ and take on our responsible adult roles…

We take the job, but have to lop off a metaphorical ‘limb’ or two to fit.

We find someone we love, but feel we should clip our wings and tie down the straggly parts of our personality to gain their approval.

We end up compromising everything we are in order to fit with our roles and responsibilities in life.

And all we really need is to be accepted for who we are (incidentally, this is the basis of the Person Centred Therapy that I do… unconditional positive regard for who you are, exactly as you are).

What we must realise is that there is a hole in the universe that is exactly the same shape as us… a hole that we will fit in beautifully if we will just have the courage to allow it.

And all the time we’re lopping off limbs and tying down straggly bits, we’re leaving gaps around us in that perfectly-shaped hole (and causing our soul to die a little with each compromise).

It doesn’t mean we have to go ‘out there’, it doesn’t mean we have to change our personality, it doesn’t mean we have to embarrass ourselves or alienate those around us.

But let’s take a look at the gaps. Where are the spaces between who you are pretending to be, and the ‘you-shaped hole’ in the universe.

Will you have the courage to expand and fill it?