Shame and Guilt

Yesterday I introduced the levels of consciousness and for the next few journals I plan to go into them in more detail.

We’ll begin at the lowest levels because these are the ones that impact our lives to the greatest extent while remaining largely invisible.

And we’ll tackle shame and guilt together because they are highly related.

When we’re young we do ‘bad’ things, that’s a given. We’ve been given this huge reality to explore and we have no idea where the boundaries are – what we’re allowed to do, what we’re not allowed to do, what’s safe for us to do, what’s unsafe.

And so we require guidance from our caregivers. We also have to build a strong bond of trust. We know nothing, so we have to assume (from an evolutionary perspective) that our caregivers are perfect and know everything.

And this is where shame and guilt begin.

If our caregivers were anything but 100% loving (which is pretty much impossible, I’m sure you’ll agree), then they will have ‘told us off’ in an unhelpful way at some point.

It may have been verbal – “you silly child”. It may have been physical – a smack. Or it may have been emotional – withdrawal of love.

These all went in to our subconscious and built patterns of shame and guilt within us.

What’s the difference?

Guilt says “I did a bad thing, I made a mistake.”

Shame is inifinitely more damaging. It says “I am a bad person. I am a mistake.”

Next time you feel like you don’t deserve something in life, ask yourself if it has anything to do with the thought form of “I am a mistake”. If it does, you have toxic shame to process (the Path To Consciousness Programme can help with that)

The big question is… how do I stop feeling guilty/ashamed?

It’s a great question. But it’s also the wrong question.

Higher consciousness isn’t about stopping yourself from feeling anything. It’s about recognising the true nature of those feelings…

It’s about realising that those feelings don’t define you. It’s about realising that those feelings can exist within you, yet not affect your thoughts, emotions or actions.

It’s about seeing those feelings as ‘part of the scenery’.

This is exactly the state that the ‘system’ doesn’t want you in, because if you see your feelings as part of the scenery, then you can’t be controlled by them. You will go through life content with what you have and who you are, and that doesn’t feed the system as it’s currently set up.

Recognise the scenery within you and you will be free.