If you feel like something’s wrong, it is.
But so often we don’t act on that feeling. We are taught from an early age not to trust our own feelings…
“Don’t be so silly.”
“If you’re going to cry, I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Our genuine needs were pooh-poohed as attention seeking or silly childishness. Or they were just plain ignored.
(In the worst cases our vulnerabilities were taken advantage of by those who should have been our caretakers.)
And so we learnt to ignore our own feelings, to suppress them. When our feelings went unseen, unheard, unvalidated for long enough, we learnt to stop feeling them completely.
We closed that link from our heart to our brain because keeping it open was too frustrating and too painful.
And because grown ups were perfect, and knew everything, we figured it must be something wrong with us.
You see how we got here?
It’s not the fault of our parents; they were just passing on what they were taught. They didn’t know any different.
The beauty is that it can stop here.
Don’t think there will be a magical transformation where your heart will suddenly open and you’ll suddenly start to feel again… it won’t.
But the more you trust it. The more you listen to it. The more you accept it, unconditionally, even when it hurts, the more it will begin to trust you and open its communication channels to you again.
It will be slow. Try to force it and it will run a mile. But just sit quietly and listen and it will come to you with its stories, its hurts, its confusion and also all of its joy and suppressed excitement for life.
It takes time. It takes work. It takes courage.
When you build that trusting relationship with your heart, you build a trusting relationship with yourself.
And suddenly you are free.